34 Weeks - Sh(& My Husband Says

There was a sitcom based on a book called "Sh)& My Dad Says" which was a diary of all the crazy things their father had said.  For those of you who actually know Steve, these particular comments and expressions shouldn't surprise anyone but for those of you who don't, please don't judge him by this blog post.
We're at my 34 week appointment this last week when my OB asked if I have experienced any contractions to which I responded I had.  They lasted about 30 minutes and so far, that's the only time I've had them.  To which Steve responds with "Contractions?! Contractions?! You didn't say you were having contractions, you just said you were in pain!!!"  Obvious exchange of looks between myself and the OB (I think she was secretly praying for me).  My interpretation: contractions are painless to men or in this case, Steve.
Driving home this morning, I had mentioned to Steve the plan if I went into labor prior to the surgery date.  His response "Oh wow, you already have an action plan for this?"  I guess all the chatter between his sister and myself about her having her ringer on high "just in case" didn't quite register at the time.   And of course, it's ME, I have an action plan for EVERYTHING.
Again, these are just the most recent one's I can recall.  I'm sure there have been much more in the last 34 weeks that I've forgotten.  Unfortunately, I don't think NBC will be calling me to do a show about the sh(& my husband says.